It's been that kind of month ...

... where every piece of machinery, every digital device, every item that was created with the express purpose of making my modern life easier ... has come under attack.

Car: Nailed in a parking lot when I wasn't looking. Bumper is now under repair in our driveway.

TIVO: Live TV picture disappeared after I lovingly recorded a program for The Sainted One.

Computer: Had tech geeks out to try to figure out WTF is wrong with it. It has longer hangtimes than punters in the NFL.

Cellphone: Simply decided to stop working one day. Don't know why.

DVD player: Couldn't get the door open so that I could put in the disc and watch something when The Sainted One was in Portland on business. Through some miracle of patience, brains, and actually reading the instructions, he was able to open it when he returned with no problem whatsoever.

New Chase cash card: Bartell's spit it out. Thank God I had another card on me.

Honestly, it's enough to make you want to drive your car to the nearest bank that you found by using Mapquest on your computer and use your cash card to take out some money for champagne and popcorn so that you can watch that DVD while TIVO records that other program that you want to watch at the same time while you make a cellphone quick call to your sister to bitch about it.

Testing: 1, 2, 3

Haven't used this site for years, as is evidenced by the date on the last entry. But since BoomerGirl.com disbanded, and since I just redesigned my website and linked to this, I thought it was time.

This is a test to see if this picture of me (that I accidently deleted from where it's supposed to be - which is in the profile to the left - and then added back in) will just roll down the blogs or stay put at the top. If it doesn't stay put, I may have to recreate everything.

Not fun.

Chances Are

The following is a true story.

One evening my husband was working with a client in downtown Seattle. For exercise, I decided to walk a mile and a half down the big hill that we live on to get a massage in our little suburban downtown area. My husband believed that his Seattle meeting would not be a long one. It was agreed that what I'd do is call him when my massage was done so that he could pick me up and take me home. The last thing in the world that I wanted to do after a relaxing massage was trudge up a steep, heart-pounding hill.

I called him as I left the masseuse and was surprised to find out that he was still in town with the client. I cursed him in several languages and told him that I'd start walking towards home, and that maybe he could still pick me up before I went up the big hill.

After about 15 minutes of walking, I came to the first road where there was an option to turn towards home. It would take me through muddy woods, and I didnt' really want to do that. So I called my husband's cellphone - no answer - and left a message telling him of my progress and wondering aloud where he was in relation to me.

About 15 minutes later, I got close to another route home, this one via sidewalk but by far the steepest route that I could take. I called him again - no answer - and left a message telling him that I was abandoning this route altogether and heading for another little strip mall area further away from home that was a downhill trek. There was a bar there where I knew I could go to the bathroom (now necessary) and wait for him.

Three blocks from the bar, I was startled as a whitish bird flew past me. We watch birds all the time, and this one was unfamiliar. Peregrine? Dove? The bird floated to the road, landed, and fell on its side. I looked up the street. A bus was coming.

I ran to the bird and tried to shoo it out of the path of the bus and realized it was a parrot of some kind, clearly someone's pet. I put my finger out and it hopped on. The bus slowed down and the door opened.

"Hey," the driver said, "somebody up the street was looking for their pet bird yesterday. That might be it."

I looked back up the street. "Up the street" included about 20 houses that I could see and another 20 on cul-de-sacs that branched out from the street.

"Do you know which house?" I asked.

The traffic was backing up, and the driver said he was sorry, but that he didn't know which one. The bus door closed and he drove away.

So there I was with a bird on my finger and its home somewhere on this surburban street of 40 homes. I was still in a post-massage fog. I had to go to the bathroom. I didn't know where my ride was.

That's when my husband drove up. He told me later that given my forced march he'd expected some kind of activity regarding my finger and a bird, but not a bird on my finger. He came up beside me and rolled down the window. I explained the situtation and decided that I'd just need to knock on doors until I found someone who knew where Polly lived. I passed three or four houses and picked one to start at, rehearsing my speech for whoever opened the door. ("Hi there. How well do you know the neighborhood?") I knocked.

"There you are!" the mother said to the bird, and soon the entry was crowded with happy and excited family members welcoming their errant pet home.

Now what are the odds? For this to happen, I had to decide not to take any of the roads that would have me walking up the hill. My husband's cellphone had to be in a place of poor reception which made the messages go straight into his message box only to be found later. If he'd answered, I would have taken one of the routes I'd proposed and he would have picked me up and I would have missed the bird's flight and fall. The timing on the bus had to be perfect. A minute later and the bus would have passed without seeing me with the bird. The bus driver had to care enough to stop in the middle of the road and let me know what he knew. And I walked straight to the right house when the odds were about forty to one.

Cool ...

Saying Goodbye to Whidbey

In the end, after much discussion of the pros and cons, we put our place on Whidbey Island up for sale. We had an offer after one day on the market. Then that fell through because the other party got heart palpitations. Within two days we had another. Added bonus: the buyer wanted all the furniture. We'd purchased that home furnished, and we had fervent hopes that we could sell it that way as well.

But even without furniture, it's amazing how much we're having to take from there and put in our suburban home of modest square footage. There's no more wall space here for our art, and in fact we had to take the largest and most expensive piece that we'd ever purchased - hung horizontally at the cabin - and hang it vertically at home in order to keep it on display. I actually think that I like it better vertical, and the subject matter allows for it.

Once mother died, the cabin became the depository of all of her things that we didn't have the heart to toss, including her. Her ashes sat on a small china cabinet that she'd played with as a girl and kept as a curio holder. Old "Look" magazines from the thirties were stuck in the bookcase, topographical maps were stuck behind it. Grandpa was a pattern-maker and dabbled in his own art, and flying birds and fish that he created now swim and fly on the spare walls here.

There's an old saying that the happiest two days of a boat-owner's life are the day that he buys it, and the day that he sells it. I'll admit to the happiest day of that equation in regard to the cabin. It was probably one of the nicest things that we ever did for ourselves other than falling in love with each other and having a masseuse come to our house every two weeks. I'll also admit to a certain relief in letting it go. We paid people on the island for upkeep and yard work. When the winds blew down the throat of the Straits of Juan de Fuca, they took a slight turn and then headed straight for our place, so when we watched storm warnings, we always took special note of central Whidbey conditions and would wonder about electricity and roofs and trees.

If Mother were still alive, we would have kept the place. She adored it, and loved taking friends and relatives there and pretending that it was her own. But she's gone, and the grandkids are in their teens and into other things, and the kids are in their thirties and into their careers and traveling further afield than Whidbey. And we are in a different place as well. It was once a retreat, and in fact when we wondered what to call it (another family member has a cabin on Whidbey, so to say "the cabin on Whidbey" was not enough), we decided on "The Sanctuary." I was a sales and marketing manager, a position of high stress. The Sainted One owned a business. We used to stand on the fantail as the ferry shuddered away from Mukeltio and laugh and say, "Try to find us now!"

But these days we're self-employed and have no need or desire to escape in the same way that we used to. "Escape" now has a tendency to mean places with strong February sun.

Whidbey will always remain special to us. We've made friends there. I had a column there in a paper for six years, and still send things in to it periodically. I'll always attend or present at the Whidbey Island Writer's Conference. And I will have mussels at Toby's and the occasional dinner at the Oystercatcher in Coupeville. We've given up the place to lay our heads, but not the right to still claim these things as ours.

I'm Starting to Fade Already ...

A week and a half after our trip to Palm Springs and my tan is already fading. Oh I look great to the folks who didn't have a tan to start with, those people who couldn't make it to sunny climes and still have that Pacific Northwest fish-belly white pallor. I guess that I should feel fortunate to have a tan at all.

I think that it faded a bit after my drive from the hills east of Seattle to the Whidbey Island Writer's Conference last week. We had flown in from Palm Springs the night before my drive. The flight took three hours. The drive - which should have taken 1.5 hours - took four. I walked into my class an hour late and announced "I need a bathroom and a good stiff drink."

The trip was horrendous, a white-knuckle nightmare: ice, jack-knifed semis blocking the way, snow, steep slick hills down to the ferry dock ... What a welcome home! I'm sure that about 15% of my tan faded during the drive.

Sun Worship

I open up the laptop this a.m. and once again the top page is filled with bad news about weather: horrendous winds in Texas, a tornado in Arkansas, 5000 feet of snow in Wisconsin. I know that back in Seattle we had snow in some of the lowlands, which means that on top of the hill where we live, we may have had a dusting.

And here ... I'm getting reading to step out onto the patio. The Sainted One and I are in Palm Springs for a 10-day respite from the low and wet ceilings of Seattle, and the weather has been great. It's still and warm enough at 7:30 in the morning to take a book out onto the patio and get some sun. I need to soak it up so that when I get home, I can survive until mid-March when the sun will re-appear at home ...

 

Where Does He Get It?

I'm adding a new link to the lower right. Title is "Zack's Dance." He's a senior in high school this year, and he and  his friends have put on homecoming skits for years. This was an advertisement for a spring dance that was shown in home rooms at the beginning of the school day that he and his friends put together.

Anyone who watched the Thanksgiving Talent Show video will note that this is the same guy who did the Napoleon Dynamite dance. And for those who haven't seen that, he's the tall one.

After years of being on the golf and lacrosse teams, he tried out for his first play and won a part. Come spring he'll either try out for track and field or the school musical. I don't doubt that he'll win a part in the musical if he does. In fact I told him when he made his choice for senior picture - naked from the waist up, covered with blue war paint and astride a white horse - that he might reconsider it since it was likely that it would one day show up in People magazine.

And the need that this kid has to perform and be funny ... where the hell does he get that?

Click here or to the right: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W7vf0ShV14