... where every piece of machinery, every digital device, every item that was created with the express purpose of making my modern life easier ... has come under attack.
Car: Nailed in a parking lot when I wasn't looking. Bumper is now under repair in our driveway.
TIVO: Live TV picture disappeared after I lovingly recorded a program for The Sainted One.
Computer: Had tech geeks out to try to figure out WTF is wrong with it. It has longer hangtimes than punters in the NFL.
Cellphone: Simply decided to stop working one day. Don't know why.
DVD player: Couldn't get the door open so that I could put in the disc and watch something when The Sainted One was in Portland on business. Through some miracle of patience, brains, and actually reading the instructions, he was able to open it when he returned with no problem whatsoever.
New Chase cash card: Bartell's spit it out. Thank God I had another card on me.
Honestly, it's enough to make you want to drive your car to the nearest bank that you found by using Mapquest on your computer and use your cash card to take out some money for champagne and popcorn so that you can watch that DVD while TIVO records that other program that you want to watch at the same time while you make a cellphone quick call to your sister to bitch about it.
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